Our nephew Wayne Hardinger

The month of May will be remembered because our beloved Wayne Alva Hardinger died Saturday 24 of May 2014. Wayne was the first grandchild of both families, the Hardingers and the Gales. He was born July 2, 1960. I remember driving with Mom to visit Virginia and the new baby at the Roosevelt Hospital. He has grown into a giant of a man in many ways, tall and handsome, hard worker, a dedicated father who loved his wife and children and grandchildren. The Lord has welcomed him home.

Grandma Cleo lived close to the major railroad through Provo. On one visit Wayne, Donald and David wanted to get a close-up look at the train that was passing. I was outside and granted them permission to go. That train was southbound. I checked down the street and saw them watching the train. Because of the noise of the first train I didn't hear a second train going the opposite way. I ran to the street yelling their names but when I looked down the street - no boys. I thought, 'Virginia will kill me.' I got halfway down the block, certain they were dead, when the first train passed and shortly thereafter the second train passed. Standing in the middle of the road between the two rail lines was Wayne with one younger brother under each arm, all excited about the up-close and personal encounter with two trains. Wayne survived many experiences that were close encounters and made choices that helped him become great in our eyes as well as in the Lord's eyes.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell said to Elder Bednar, “I have learned that not shrinking is more important than surviving." referring to his lengthy chemotherapy.   "We too can plead with the Father, just as Jesus did, that we ‘might not ... shrink’—meaning to retreat or to recoil (D&C 19:18). Not shrinking is much more important than surviving! Moreover, partaking of a bitter cup without becoming bitter is likewise part of the emulation of Jesus”

Elder Orson F. Whitney said, “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God ... and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire”

Elder Bednar said, "strong faith in the Savior is submissively accepting of His will and timing in our lives—even if the outcome is not what we hoped for or wanted."

Elder Bednar was referring to a couple facing similar trials as Wayne and said of them,"[they] desire, yearn, and plead for healing with all of their might, mind, and strength. But more importantly, they would be “willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [them], even as a child doth submit to his father” (Mosiah 3:19). Indeed, they would be willing to “offer [their] whole souls as an offering unto him” (Omni 1:26) and humbly pray, “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42).: strong faith in the Savior is submissively accepting of His will and timing in our lives."

The last conversation I had with Wayne was just after his cancer diagnosis and he said, "I don't want to die." He also added that he would do everything he could to survive, he wanted to live. As the disease progressed he too accepted the will of the Father and his timing.

Elder Bednar's talk was a CES fireside last year. The URL is attached.

https://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/print/ces-devotionals/2013/01/that-we-might-not-shrink-d-c-19-18?lang=eng&clang=eng